you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize