just tell him i said nine months
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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