ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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