we have pet lesbian snakes
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize