If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Randomize
