I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
