this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
