Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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