Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
