Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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