Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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