...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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