Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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