what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Randomize
