i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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