im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
