Your tits are I can't wait for
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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