I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
