Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
MIDGETS
????
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
