Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
