god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
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