I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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