Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
