It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
