Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
