Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
