even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
