dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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