...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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