Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
