i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
