Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
