remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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