I don't think brook has ever known best
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
