I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
