Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Randomize
