suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
