Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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