yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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