Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
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