was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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