I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
