Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
