I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
