why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
