This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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