I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
