just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
This show inspires me to have sex in space
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I need to sanitize my soul.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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