He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
