Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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