My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
