i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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