he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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