i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
