Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
