What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
