Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
