did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
