You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize