I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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